Nicky was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in 2018 after noticing a lump in her breast during IVF treatment.
One of the most common questions I get asked is how can I support/what do I say to someone just diagnosed with cancer, I’ve put a few points that I personally have found can help:
- Don’t downplay the situation, being diagnosed with cancer is terrifying, saying things like ‘you’ll beat this’ or ‘you never know, they are making new drugs all the time’ simple wont help. Acknowledge that it’s crap but reassure that your not going anywhere & will support them anyway way you can
- Be proactive! Instead of waiting to be asked for help, simply help! Cook meals to freeze, do lifts to appointments, do a food shop & drop it off, help with housework etc. as patients we can feel like a burden by asking for help, just doing it takes that away
- Consider making up a care package or buying one for treatment days. Charities like @littlelifts_uk create both chemo and radio boxes which are nice treats during treatment
- Encourage them to talk & reach out to others in the community, having someone to talk to who is going through what they are will really help, only when they are ready though, not everyone will want to talk straight away
- Don’t forget that the person diagnosed is still the same person, albeit may need a little more support but they are still your friend, sister, dad etc, treat them the same
- If they are in it for the long term (like me) simply don’t forget the diagnosis in the years that go by. We may act okay on the outside & plough on but we are dealing with both physical & mental side effects. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Just be aware
