Our conversation with author and poet, Dearbhaile O’Hare, highlighted important feelings around upcoming MRI scans and how exercise can play an important role during treatment, recovery and on into survivorship.
Dearbhaile’s Story
In 2020 during the Covid pandemic, Dearbhaile injured her back, which resulted in various surgeries. Just as she was getting back on her feet, she found a lump in her breast. She used a work wellness day to go to the GP and get the lump checked out. She was then referred to a consultant, who arranged a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy, after which they told her to come back in a couple of days and to bring someone with her. This raised alarm bells, as it was during the pandemic, so she sensed there could be a problem.
“You never forget the date. It was the 24th September 2021 and I heard those three little words nobody wants to hear, three little words that strike such fear - “You’ve got cancer.”
“It’s like an out of body experience. I could see that the doctor and nurse were speaking, but all I heard was white noise. I only really remember two words from that appointment, “cancer” and “treatable”, and I held onto the word “treatable” for dear life”.
Following the news, she had to go for a serious of scans as part of the staging process, which she found really difficult. But despite her fear of MRI scans, she did feel a bit more positive once she got her treatment plan in place.
What is Scanxiety?
Scanxiety is intense anxiety that many cancer patients experience before, during and after medical scans. Due to the uncertainty of the test results, the person can be affected by feelings of dread, hypervigilance and emotional distress, which can significantly impact their quality of life, especially during the waiting period between scans and waiting on the results.
How she managed these feelings
Dearbhaile used to write often as a teenager, but stopped. However, post diagnosis she started to pick up the pen again. As someone who used to struggle to talk about her feelings, she always found comfort when writing them down. “Writing give thoughts a place to land. It’s like a mental decluttering of your mind.”
This was the start of her writing and publishing her book, “Things Went T*ts Up!”, which brings readers through various stages of a cancer “JoUrNeY” in an emotional, yet humorous way.
In her book, “Things Went T*ts Up!”, Dearbhaile wrote the following poem, “The Tunnel of Doom”, which humorously captures what many people feel when faced with an MRI.
The Tunnel of Doom
A poem by Dearbhaile O'Hare
Gowned up and nervous,
I’m led into a cold, white room.
And right there in front of me,
is the tunnel of doom.
I’m strapped to a surfboard,
and squeezed into a long narrow tube.
I’m surprised they don’t lather me up first,
with some sort of lube!
My mind starts to spiral,
my thoughts are a bit manic.
It bubbles up inside me,
that familiar feeling of panic.
I try to relax in this tunnel
and to calm down the swell.
My grip ever tightening,
around the emergency call bell.
The machine starts up,
with a bang and a clatter.
The room is bloody freezing
and my teeth start to chatter.
Then a contrast is injected,
into my pink IV.
It gives me a warm feeling,
like I really need to pee!
My thoughts start to race again.
Just as I was getting the hang of it.
What if I get trapped in this tunnel forever?
I'll be half woman/half magnet!
I've another 30 minutes to go,
lying here in this contraption.
No time like the present,
to try the art of distraction.
I try some box breathing
To see if it helps me relax.
Next time I'll just cut to the chase,
And pop a few Xanax!
In addition to writing, Dearbhaile also found exercise was a great outlet. When she was exercising during treatment, she felt like herself again. It gave her back some control, during a time that can feel very out of control.
She is passionate about the role of movement after a cancer diagnosis and has subsequently qualified as a Cancer Exercise Specialist. In 2026, she co-founded “Cancer Take a Hike” – a supportive hiking community created by and for people affected by cancer.
Dearbhaile hopes that in the near future, exercise will be a prescribed part of every cancer patient’s treatment plan, empowering people to come back stronger after the fight of their lives.
“Exercise is Medicine” is another of Dearbhaile’s poems that highlights the crucial part that exercise played in her experience with, and recovery from, cancer. Not just the immense physical benefits, but the mental relief that it contributed to also.
An extract from this poem is below:
“It’s like winning the lottery. In fact, it’s better than wealth!
To be in the full of your senses, with good mind and body health.
After a cancer diagnosis they both take a hit.
As part of your recovery, you need time to get fit.
…
It’s not about a bikini body,
or having perfect form.
It’s to be healthy and happy
and ultimately, stronger than your storm.”
The poem powerfully ends with:
“I’m now a regular gym goer. In fact, I’ve an annual subscription.
I’m living proof that exercise is medicine, just without a prescription”.
Advice
Dearbhaile’s advice for anybody who finds a lump is:
- Go to a GP to get it checked, early detection is crucial – “Don’t be embarrassed. It’s not something to hide. The simple fact is – early detection saves lives.”
- Laugh – dark humour is important is getting through tough times!
- Allow yourself to “sit in the puddle” and “feel all the feels”
- Slow down and take in those magic little moments and daily glimmers
If you or somebody you know is dealing with anxiety around upcoming cancer scans, check out the following resources:
- Read “Things Went T*ts Up”, which is available here
- Listen to our podcast conversation with Dearbhaile who talks about everyday “glimmers”
- Check out our support directory for counselling services and exercise recommendations
